


Home

by Th3_Morrigan



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Comfort, Demons, Family, Gen, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 15:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Th3_Morrigan/pseuds/Th3_Morrigan
Summary: Alistair could only imagine what was going through her head right now.  This was her home, after all.  Though not all her time spent here was favorable, it was still the place she grew up, and the only place she had known she belonged....Looked good enough so decided to post in the hopes that it would get me writing again.  ho-hum.





	Home

None of them expected what they found when they went to Kinloch Hold. 

They were greeted by the worn-out Knight-Commander, who explained the situation. Abominations and demons were stalking the hallways, attacking mages and Templars alike. They were overpowered. It was all he could do to retreat and bar the Great Doors. Alistair thought the Knight-Commander did a commendable job 

But then the Warden spoke up. 

"You shut everyone in there? Including innocent mages?!" 

The knight-Commander sighed. "Not just mages, but my Templars also. I had no choice. The abominations must be contained at all costs. I do not mean for the doors to stay closed forever. Everything in the tower must be eliminated. I have sent word to Denerim calling for reinforcements and the right to Annulment." 

The Warden's eyes widened. "What?! No! How could you? Without even checking for survivors?" 

Alistair put a hand on her shoulder. He could see her distress, but the situation was serious and sooner or later she had to come to terms with reality. "The mages are probably already dead," he said quietly. "Any abominations remaining in there must be dealt with, no matter what." 

"He's right," Greagoir sighed. "This situation is dire. There is no alternative. Everything in the tower must be destroyed so it can be made safe again."

"I can't believe you both!" Warden violently shrugged her shoulder way from Alistair's hand and stared, livid, at the Knight-Commander. "There were children in there and you locked them in with those monsters!" She closed her eyes, gathered herself for a moment and let out a shaky breath. "The mages are not defenseless. Some may still live." 

Greagoir looked at her with understanding and something close to pity. "If any are still alive, the Maker himself has shielded them. No one could have survived those monstrous creatures. It is too painful to hope for survivors and find…nothing." 

The Warden moved away from them, perhaps trying to finally process the inevitable outcome. 

Alistair could only imagine what was going through her head right now. This was her home, after all. Though not all her time spent here was favorable, it was still the place she grew up, and the only place she had known she belonged. 

Greagoir looked at Alistair. "I'm sorry," he said. Alistair nodded. He knew the Knight-Commander was doing the best that he could. 

"No." She turned to face them again. There was a determination about her that made Alistair both proud of her and afraid of what she was going to say. 

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Greagoir's brow furrowed. 

"I will look for survivors." 

The feeling of pride and fear turned into a knot in Alistair's stomach. He couldn't decide if he was in awe of her bravery or shocked by her stupidity. Even their companions couldn't help but voice out their feelings. Morrigan groaned at the Warden's apparent need to, once again, help out. Leliana gasped. 

Greagoir shook his head. "I assure you an abomination is a force to be reckoned with, and you will face more than one." 

The Warden stood her ground, stoic in her decision. "I have faced more than one abomination before." 

The Knight-Commander wanted to argue, but he saw the stubborn look on her face. That was the same look she had the day they caught her blood mage friend and she defended him till the end. Instead he sighed. "This is madness… but I suppose I cannot stop you." 

The Warden shook her head. "I have to try." 

"Very well, but a word of caution," Greagoir said. "Once you cross that threshold there is no turning back. The great doors must remain barred. I will open them for no one until I have proof that it is safe. I will only believe it is over if the first enchanter stands before me and tells me it is so. If Irving has fallen, the Circle is lost and must be destroyed. I need you to understand this before you go in there." 

"I understand," she said without hesitation. 

"Then may Andraste lend you her courage." 

"Are you certain you are willing to risk your life - all our lives- on a whim that there are survivors?" It was Morrigan who spoke up, incredulous. "I thought we were here to fight the Blight? What would happen should die in there?" 

"Then the darkspawn can have their way with Loghain and the rest of this bloody country," the Warden said. "I'm not forcing you to come along. If I die, send for the Wardens of Orlais." 

"If we die, you mean," Alistair said, stepping forward. "I'm coming with you." He didn't really have a choice. He had as much to gain from this endeavor than she did. His step-uncle and nephew's lived were on the line, after all. "We're in this together, remember?" 

The Warden smiled at him. "Thank you, Alistair." 

"I shall accompany you as well," Leliana volunteered. "It seems the Maker, again, has sent you here just in time." 

"Are you still going on about the bloody Maker?" Morrigan grumbled. 

Leliana smiled. Nothing ever seemed to dampen her spirits. "If the Maker spared her from Ostagar, I'm sure he will watch over her here." 

"'T'was my mother that saved her at Ostagar, not your Maker. And my mother is not present at the moment." 

Lelina's smile widened. "The Maker often works in mysterious ways. Perhaps he would work through you this time." 

Morrigan threw up her hands in exasperation. As much as she hated the Warden's plan and the idea of being in the company of this sister, she didn't think she had much choice because, in a way, Leliana was right. Her mother didn’t go through the trouble of saving the Wardens only to have them throw their lives away on a whim. It was part of her responsibility to make sure they stayed alive. She readied her staff and frowned at the Warden. 

"T'is good if we move along now. No reason to dally any longer." 

Alistair saw the unmistakable relief in the Wardne's face when Morrigan offered to come along, and he supposed he knew why. Though the Warden had considerable magic skills of her own, it was assuring to have a powerful mage with a lot more experience on their side. Even though he hated her, he was also glad to have Morrigan along. 

So with a final nod to the Knight-Commander, Alistair followed the Warden into the fallen Circle. 

*** 

Finding the children was both a horror and a relief for Alistair. He couldn't believe they wouldn't at least let the children out, even though he knew the Templars were just following protocol. It was nasty, but necessary. He was determined now more than ever to help the Warden find Irving alive, if only for their sake. 

Alistair noticed that the deeper they got into the Circle, the more forlorn the Warden seemed when she thought no one was watching her. He had to remind himself that this was where she grew up and spent her whole life. This was her home, and she was witnessing its ravage. When they reached the apprentice quarters, she stood immobile at the doorway for a good long while. Concerned, Alistair went up beside her and saw what she was staring at. The floor was littered with lifeless bodies, most of them with horrified expressions on their faces. 

"I knew them," she said almost inaudibly. "I knew all of them. I grew up with them." 

He wished he could comfort her, like she did for him so many weeks ago when he himself was grieving. He knew her pain ran deep, but this was not the time or the place for grief or comfort. 

"Be strong," he said. That was the best he could do, and he hoped it helped. 

She shook herself out of it and moved on. They fought their way up the tower, where they encountered more bodies. Each time they came upon one, Alistair could see her wince at recognizing yet another familiar face. By the time they were nearly to the summit it she had hardened herself. It certainly seemed that way when they finally met the Sloth Demon. 

Alistair saw her bristle with electricity when they stepped into the demon's lair. She was enraged, and lashed out at the Demon. But it started to speak, and when he did something came over them. They paused, confused. Alistair felt like he was wading through molasses. Everything felt heavy, from his limbs to his eyelids. Even his thoughts seemed to become muddled. He looked to his companions. They looked like they were going through the same thing. Even the Warden, who looked like she was fighting it with all her will, was starting to lower her staff. 

"Alistair! Don't fall asleep!" he heard her shout, but it was too late. He was falling, his eyes closing shut even before he hit the ground. 

*** 

The pie was delicious. He couldn't remember the last time he had pie this good. It was apple, his favorite, made even more so because of the big dollop of cream with a sprinkle of cheese on top. He rarely ever got to taste cream when he was at the castle. It was reserved for royalty, of course. None could be spared, not even for the bastard. He wanted to ask where the cream came from, but decided it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that it was delicious, and he was happy and content. 

The raucous laughter of children suddenly filled the air as a gaggle of children came running into the house from outside. 

"Whoa! Easy there!" he laughed as they all milled about him, a noisy sweaty mass of chidren coming in to give him a collective hug. 

"We missed you Uncle Alistair!" said the littlest one, a boy of three, who made his way onto his lap. 

"Hey! You finished all the pie!" said another one, an older boy. Samson? Simon? Alistair couldn’t remember. He would just call the boy Sam to be safe. 

"Hush now," said the eldest one, a girl of thirteen, to her brother. "Mother and I can always make some more. Would you like some more pie, uncle?" 

"That would be nice." 

"Now, children," called a voice from the kitchen, "let your uncle rest. He's weary from his travels. You all wash up and get ready for supper." 

The children all gave Alistair a final hug before disappearing to their rooms. Goldana appeared from the kitchen with another plate of apple pie just for him. 

"You shouldn't have," Alistair said. He didn't think he could eat another bite, but as Goldana set the plate before him, his stomach growled and his mouth watered. Damn this Warden appetite. 

"Nonsense," Goldana said, patting him on the head. "You're my brother. We're family. Family looks after each other, right?" 

Alistair smiled as he felt a warmth spread through him. Family. He's found them at last. He's no longer the bastard, the outcast, the awkward person lingering behind Cailan or Eamon or Duncan. He found his family now, and he finally feels like he belongs. 

This was what he had been searching for his whole life. He had always felt like something was missing, like there was a hole in his soul that needed to be filled. Being here now, with his family at last, it felt like he was finally whole. 

The moment was momentarily shaken when he heard a familiar voice behind him. 

"Alistair?" 

He turned and saw the Warden. She paused tentatively at the doorway, looking around the house before looking back at him. 

The feeling of contentment was back. He didn’t know why hearing her voice had made it falter. He was actually glad that she was here. He wanted to share this with her. She was a friend of his, after all. They'd been through a lot of tough times together and he wanted to share his happiness with her. 

"It's you! Come in!" Alistair jumped up from his seat to welcome the Warden in. "I'm so glad you made it," Alistair said. He was sure he told her to come, now that he thought about it. He had wanted her to meet his sister. It was probably all that pie that was making him a tad forgetful. "I'd like you to meet my sister, Goldana." 

"Pleased to meet you," Goldana said with a small bow. 

"You look happy," the Warden said, ignoring Goldana. 

Alistair considered this for a moment. "You know what? Now that you've mentioned it, I am. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. Isn't that strange? I thought being a Grey Warden would make me happy, but it didn't. This does. Being with my family does." 

"And I'm overjoyed to have my little brother back. I'll never let him out of my sight again." Goldana wrapped her arm around Alistair's and it felt good to him. It felt right. 

"Will you be staying for supper?" Goldana asked the Warden. 

"Please say you'll stay!" Alistair looked at her hopefully. "Goldana's a great cook. Maybe she'll make her minced pie." He turned to his sister. "You can, can't you?" 

"Of course, dear brother. Anything for you." She turned to go toward the kitchen, but stopped in her tracks when the Warden spoke. 

"Alistair," she said a little too forcefully for his taste. "I can’t stay. Neither should you." 

He frowned. "What are you talking about? I just got here. I just found them. I plan on staying for a while. I don't want to spend my life fighting only to end up in a pit along with rotting darkspwan corpses. " 

"You could stay too," Goldana offered. "I could make up the other guest room." 

The Warden paid her no attention. 

"Alistair, listen to me. This isn’t real." She had him by his shoulders and shook him slightly as she said each word. 

"You are acting very strange." He disengaged himself from her grip and took a step back. "And what do you mean this isn't real? Are you mad?" 

"Think for a minute! What's the last thing you remember? How did you get here?" 

"The last thing I remember before your crazy talk was pie, but, fine. I'll humor you." He thought about it. The pie was clear as day. The texture, the taste, even the warmth of it and the coolness of the cream he could recall. Before that, he remembered arriving at Goldana's doorstep and her welcoming him in and giving him a big hug. He remembered he was tired because he came from... He came from... 

"I was tired. I remember I was so tired." 

"Yes, Alistair! It made you tired. It..." 

"That's enough now. Alistair is weary from his travels and you're agitating him." Goldana strode back to her brother's side. "Go wash up for supper, brother. I'll see our guest out." She touched his face lovingly and for a moment Alistair forgot everything else but the prospect of a warm supper with his family. 

"Get away from him, demon!" the Warden snarled. 

It was so unbecoming of her it shook Alistair out of his thoughts. "Demon? What..." Coldness had started to replace the warm and contented feeling that had blanketed him just moments before. He tried to hold on to the memory, the feeling of being with his family, but it was slipping through his grasp as his memory came back to him. 

"The Circle... the dead mages... the abominations...Maker's breath!" 

The world shifted and everything seemed to melt before Alistair's eyes. The walls of his sister's home disappeared. It gave way to a dismal landscape of rolling hills dotted with deformed lifeless trees and deep endless pits. 

Goldana snarled, and Alistair was horrified as he watched her transform into a desire demon before his eyes. 

"You could have had everything you wanted, Alistair. I could have given you everything you desired. I have seen all your deepest darkest desires, after all." The demon caressed a finger down his cheek. "It's not too late. You can still choose to stay." Images flashed before his eyes. Images of things he'd always wanted, and others he never consciously realized he did: Goldana, his nephews and nieces, big family get-togethers, becoming a knight-commander, becoming a warden-commander, eating pie, being a cheese merchant, having children of his own, and at the very end of it he saw the Warden, clad only in a thin linen dress that left little to the imagination, like he had seen once in his dreams. It made his loins stir. 

"No!" Alistair screamed and shut his eyes. . It wasn't right to be thinking about her like that, the Templar in him argued. This was wrong, so very wrong. 

He opened his eyes to the sound of an explosion. The Warden had had enough and was battling the desire demon, shooting everything she had at it. More demons came out from the ground and Alistair finally gathered his wits about him. He drew his sword and fought beside her. 

When the last of the wraiths were dead, he turned to face the desire demon. It was on its last legs. He approached it, sword at the ready. The air before it wavered and the demon turned into his sister once more. 

"Please, Alistair, help me." 

He shook his head and kept moving forward. 

The air shifted once more and this time it was the Warden's face he was looking at, tear-streaked and terrified." Please, Alistair. I'll do anything you want me to. Anything." 

"Shut up," he said and ran the sword through it, finally putting an end to its hold on him. He bore down on the blade until the demon fell still. 

"Are you alright?" A gentle hand was on his shoulder. He Turned to face the Warden. 

"I'll be fine. Thank you for coming to get me." He hoped she hadn't seen that last vision, but as he turned to face her, the questioning look she gave him told him that she had. 

Before he could open his mouth to offer an explanation, the world shimmered again, and everything faded to black. 

*** 

They had killed the Sloth Demon and made it out of the Fade. She had gotten them through that. Though they all woke up from the Fade slightly disheartened, she rallied them on. She was like their ray of light in the dismal landscape that was Kinloch Hold. Alistair had to admire her resilience. 

Finding Irving in the Harrowing chamber and fighting off the abomination that once was Uldred was a daunting task, but together they managed it. The Warden had been concentrating all her efforts to stopping Uldred, and it was only in the end that Alistair saw how distraught the Warden was at finding her mentor in the state that he was in. He gave them a moment as they sat in the middle of the chamber and cried for their fellow mages. 

The trip down to the Great Doors was even harder for both of them. The Warden led Irving down, the First Enchanter leaning heavily on her for support, both physically and mentally. Alistair saw that he too was having a hard time trying to take in the destruction of his home and the death of so many of his charges. 

He noticed that she tried to steer him away from the rooms and passageways with the most carnage, but when they got to the apprentice quarters Irving had insisted on looking inside to see what became of them. The number of dead made him stagger back out the hallway. 

" I never thought I would see anything like this in my lifetime," he heard Irving mumble. The Warden had led him quickly down the hall and finally to the Great Doors where the Knight-Commander met them. 

Once Greagoir and Irving established that everything was manageable and that there was no need for the Annulment, the Warden took Alistair aside. 

"Thank you for coming with me," she said. "This wasn't your home. You didn’t have to come along, but you did anyway. Your support means lot to me." 

"I had as much to gain from this, remember? The arl and his son need the mages' help. Besides, we're in this together. That's what we promised." 

The Warden nodded wanly. She looked tired. 

"Are you alright?" He knew she wasn't. Not after all that, but he felt like he had to ask. 

The Warden tried to smile, but it only made her look more tired. Alistair put a hand on her shoulder, a gesture of support, but that simple touch was all it took and the Warden lost her composure and finally broke down. 

Alistair instinctively gathered her up in his arms and let her cry. He knew she needed it just like he had needed it after Ostagar. They had both lost so much already, and they hadn't even faced the Blight yet. He wondered, not for the first time, if they were going to make it at all. 

After a moment, the Warden finally pulled away and composed herself. 

"Thank you, Alistair." 

He just smiled at her. 

"We'll go see your sister when we get to Denerim. I promise." 

That surprised Alistair, but he shook his head. "We've discussed this. It's not a priority-" 

"We'll make time," she interrupted. "I still have Irving, and I owe a lot of that to your support. And I know it was an illusion, what that demon showed us in the Fade, but she's your family and you were happy to have found her. I think after everything we've been through and for everything we've still yet to face we deserve a little happiness." 

Alistair had no words to express how grateful he was for her understanding so he hugged her again. 

She hugged him back. "We're in this together," she said against his chest. "And if it doesn't work out with Goldana always remeber I'm here for you." 

Alistair's heart swelled. No one had ever been so considerate of his wants before, just as no one had ever given him that kind of support. He felt validated, he felt safe, he felt like he was falling a little bit more in love with her. 

And for the first time in a very long time he felt like he was home.


End file.
